Do you ever put off a simple task because you are afraid you won't be able to do it properly in that moment? And then that "I'll do it later" turns into days?
Are you often hard on yourself- criticizing yourself for not meeting your own expectations, or for not giving your 100% all the time?
And if someone asks you to describe yourself, do the negative things come more easily than the positive ones?
If you answered yes, you might be dealing with perfectionism.
What Exactly Is Perfectionism?
Perfectionism is more than just being hardworking or having high standards. It is the constant pressure to be exceptional. While striving for excellence can be motivating, perfectionism becomes a problem when it starts affecting your mental well-being, self-worth and peace of mind.
Perfectionism doesn't appear overnight. It usually develops through a combination of experiences and personality factors. For example:
You may have been rewarded mainly for achievements as a child, leaving little room for mistakes.
You may have grown up watching role models who were highly critical of themselves or others.
Or it may simply be part of your temperament. You are naturally driven, detail-oriented and sensitive to "getting it right".
Why Do People Become Perfectionists?
Let's be honest! Perfectionism does come with benefits.
You might feel more capable, efficient and accomplished when you do things "perfectly." Giving your best can feel satisfying, and your achievements may even become a big part of your identity.
But an important question to ask is:
At what cost?
Does constantly chasing excellence leave you exhausted?
Does it start impacting your confidence or make you feel like you are never enough?
For many people, perfectionism can create a cycle that looks like:
high standards ➡️intense pressure ➡️fear of failure ➡️procrastinating or overworking ➡️self-criticism ➡️feeling "not good enough" again.
Perfectionism can show up in everyday life in many ways, such as: feeling anxious when things aren't perfect, harsh self-criticism (inner voice that constantly points out flaws, and says, "You should have done better."), re-checking and over-editing, and procrastination.
When Perfectionism Starts Taking Away Your Life
If your need to do things perfectly is starting to drain your energy, or steal your ability to enjoy life, it may be time to pause and reflect.
Sometimes, healing from perfectionism means learning to:
Challenge the belief that your worth depends on performance
Create space for rest, balance, and joy
Practice "self-compassion" even when things aren't "ideal"
If you're ready to loosen the grip of perfectionism, I'd be happy to support you in that journey.